with that being said,
FK GOD!
I cannot stress this enough.
When you see it, I mean REALLY take a step back and look at the big picture, life just sucks.
- Theres no real chance for redemption that doesn't require you to be on your knees in some way shape or form. In my personal opinion, blacks get their redemption through slavery, being beamed back to whatever time or country post death to experience slavery in the physical realm. Like what the fk kinna shit is this?
Like I'm born black with all of these great lovely skillsets available, but sometimes I feel like I'm working with a handicap, like I'm not working with the exact same brain as the next (THEY DO THIS).
So then I gotta go back to school to get a piece of paper that says I can work in hospitals and shit, when it feels like I'm basically fighting against God which is an EPIC waste of time.
I'm obviously going to do what I want to do, but to be fair, it is really pointless. Like I get the nursing thing, I will literally be dead at like 46 due to DRINKING EVERY NIGHT (Yep).
I felt a pang in my stomach last night; I'm not in my 20s anymore. This is just INSANITY. It's like I don't trust anything at all they say, but I most of the time feel like I'm fighting against God which is just pointless. I don't know. It's pointless to me.
I try to just bury myself in music, but that is kind of a front. All the Spanish and Licenses and Jobs in the world is not gon just up and make God go away.
GLP was right, at times this does feel like a "life/spiritual cancer" that is untreated. It will ALWAYS be like this. I don't even know that I trust DeMarcus to be real.
Like if this whole set up is by an All knowing powerful spiritual system, or it is scientifically impossible for any possibilities but my ultimate ruin, it's hard to enjoy life when you know that you are just a step closer to Hell.
I would rather die naturally of Liver cancer.
FK GOD!
I cannot stress this enough.
When you see it, I mean REALLY take a step back and look at the big picture, life just sucks.
- Theres no real chance for redemption that doesn't require you to be on your knees in some way shape or form. In my personal opinion, blacks get their redemption through slavery, being beamed back to whatever time or country post death to experience slavery in the physical realm. Like what the fk kinna shit is this?
Like I'm born black with all of these great lovely skillsets available, but sometimes I feel like I'm working with a handicap, like I'm not working with the exact same brain as the next (THEY DO THIS).
So then I gotta go back to school to get a piece of paper that says I can work in hospitals and shit, when it feels like I'm basically fighting against God which is an EPIC waste of time.
I'm obviously going to do what I want to do, but to be fair, it is really pointless. Like I get the nursing thing, I will literally be dead at like 46 due to DRINKING EVERY NIGHT (Yep).
I felt a pang in my stomach last night; I'm not in my 20s anymore. This is just INSANITY. It's like I don't trust anything at all they say, but I most of the time feel like I'm fighting against God which is just pointless. I don't know. It's pointless to me.
I try to just bury myself in music, but that is kind of a front. All the Spanish and Licenses and Jobs in the world is not gon just up and make God go away.
GLP was right, at times this does feel like a "life/spiritual cancer" that is untreated. It will ALWAYS be like this. I don't even know that I trust DeMarcus to be real.
Like if this whole set up is by an All knowing powerful spiritual system, or it is scientifically impossible for any possibilities but my ultimate ruin, it's hard to enjoy life when you know that you are just a step closer to Hell.
I would rather die naturally of Liver cancer.
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